We All Have Courage
Courage Is What We Unconsciously Do
I was recently reminded of courage on three separate occasions, all within a few days of each other. The power and coincidence in the back-to-back references have made me stop and reflect. I realize I don’t think of courage unless I hear a story on the news or read about it in an article. I don’t equate myself to courage. Courage is not a word I hear often, yet it’s powerful and within us.
I looked up the definition of courage in the dictionary. According to Merriam-Webster, courage is the mental or moral strength to venture, persevere, and withstand danger, fear, or difficulty. All three of my encounters fit this definition.
My first encounter involved running into a woman I knew, but not well, through someone else. She is about 15 years older than me and has successfully raised a wonderful son. She is living the second half of her life and, from the sounds of it, with zest! We talked about several things in our random passing. The conversation circled to my daughter. She asked how she was doing. I told her our entire family made a significant decision for her in the coming year. I shared the reasons why we were making the change. In exchange, she shared a similar story of a significant change her family had made for her son. She also expressed her fear of failing as a parent at the time. She didn’t want him to be worse off. She wanted him to thrive. Her fear and desire matched mine! She also sprinkled this wisdom upon me: “What you are doing for your daughter takes tremendous courage.” I didn’t know how to respond. My throat constricted, emotion exploded in my body, and tears were fighting hard to find their way out. Thank goodness for sunglasses!
What she said to me was something I had never considered in the decision-making process or about myself. Courage hasn’t been something I’ve ever thought of when I’ve done anything in my life. I’ve always just done what I’ve done. Most of the time, we all do what we do. We aren’t reacting or responding to a situation thinking this act will be considered courageous, or that it will score us significant points with the man upstairs, or that we’ll earn a badge of honor. What this woman said to me was profound. So simple, yet so profound. It also got me thinking that perhaps my courage could be contagious. My daughter is already plenty brave - her courage to speak up and ask for what she needed brought our family to this decision. I also wondered if my courage to advocate for her might push her to be even more courageous than she already is.
My second encounter with courage involves a friend who had to make a tough decision about her son. Her pain is profound, and it took me by storm. I can’t stop thinking about her and what she is dealing with. But what impresses me is her courage to take tough love to a new level. She overrode her pain and put courage at the forefront because her son needed it most, even if he didn’t want it. Her family needed her act of bravery. She also needed to end a vicious cycle, which meant being courageous. She just did what she had to do. Plain and simple. She had to have courage. She withstood danger and fear.
My third encounter was when someone asked me how she was courageous when she got herself into “this situation.” “This situation” is a toxic relationship. Fair question. It’s natural to second-guess ourselves when we feel we are to blame, even when we are not. It’s hard to feel anything other than what we do daily to stay afloat—trying to survive another day.
But what is the driver behind staying afloat or making hard decisions? What is behind our survival instincts? It's our friend, Courage. I reminded this person that everything she does is courage. She perseveres. The headwinds she faces every day is courage. Making tough choices as a mom is courage. Finding a way to live a better life is courage. When in the trenches of a toxic relationship, getting up and facing the day is courage. Deciding to exit the relationship is courage. This person has courage every day without realizing it.
We all have courage. Courage comes in many forms. Courage is advocating for your children. Courage is fighting for what is best for yourself and your family. Courage is taking a stand. Courage is taking one step at a time towards change. Having courage does not mean you have to have a monumental, riveting event in your life. Courage can seem small, but it’s big, VERY BIG! Courage is what you do day in and day out without realizing it.
I challenge each of you to look at your life. Look at what you have done in the past, what you do daily, and what you desire in the future. Look to see where you have had courage. I promise you that you will find that you have had abundant courage. Make a list. Keep it handy. As you continue to fight and have days where you feel like the deck is stacked against you, look at the list. Remind yourself that you’ve got it! You’ve got courage and plenty of it! You have done and can do hard things!
One last note—to the women I’ve referenced, you know who you are; you all embody courage in all you do. My heart overflows with gratitude to the acquaintance who reminded me of my courage and acknowledged her own. What you said with kindness and a kindred spirit significantly impacted me. Thank you!